Bon & Valour In: BAD NEWS BUNNY

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PONYVILLE MARKETPLACE - 1:21 p.m. She had always heard that, once you retire, it's important to keep yourself busy. Not that Bon Bon was retired—she was young still, had plenty of years of hard work running a profitable café and candy shop ahead of her. Sweetie Drops, on the other hand, was retired. She was no longer an active agent, the file was stamped and put away along with that of every other former Sweetie Drops. However, that part of her still had to keep busy. The intelligence was clear. The local odds-and-ends store, Nooks and Needs, had an artifact of great power in it. How it had come to be there, why, and whether the proprietor knew what was in his possession were all unknown. She wasn't under a direct order, per se, to pursue this matter. An inactive agent couldn't be ordered. But she was the only one in Ponyville with this information, and if she just happened to be in the right place at the right time... it could be nice to go a little above her civic duties to serve Crown and Country again, right? The dossier she had received on the object was already destroyed, of course. It self-destructed. But she reviewed its contents in her memory as she walked up to the front door of the shop, a big ol' smile on her face and a saddlebag jingling with bits at her side. A little "open" sign dangled in the glass, so she knocked twice and opened the door straight away. A bell dinged overhead. "Hello~?" she called out, looking for signs of life. She was as mellow as ever as she stepped through, seeming to gawk at all the little curiosities and knick-knacks surrounding her—but really her eyes were tracking the layout, looking for the potential exits. "Sorry if I'm interrupting! Could I get a hoof with something, mister shopkeeper? ...Are you, uh, in here?"

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REED'S PLACE - 1:17 p.m. "Oh, what a night! Late December back in sixty-three. What a very special time for me, as I remember, what a night! Oh, what a night, you know I didn't even know he..." His music slowed to a crawl and then stopped, his little portable radio sitting on the counter as he watched out the window, singing along. "Oh... come on..." he picked it up, smacking it with his hoof, hoping it would start back up again. Maybe the batteries died? He flipped open the back of it, looking at the AA batteries. "Eh..." He smacked the batteries out, and went to grab some off the shelf next to him... but no batteries... So his face contorted into a frown. "Batteries... batteries..." he stood from from his post and wandered around the store looking for batteries. "No batteries?" Yep, no batteries, indeed. He considered locking the door, but instead, he wandered into his living area,digging through all his drawers. No batteries... In the bathroom? No batteries... Under the sink? He crawled in to search. "Hello~? Sorry if I'm interrupting! Could I get a hoof with something, mister shopkeeper? ...Are you, uh, in here?" The bell and voice scared the daylights out of him, making him slam his noggin into the top of the cupboard. "I'm... In the back, sorry! I'm coming." He slithered out from underneath the sink and back out into the storefront. "What... ow" He rubbed his head, "What can I do for you, ma'am?" The orange pegasus said, covered in dust.

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There was a bang from the other room and the proprietor finally came out, and Bon Bon recognized him from around the streets, here and there. Hard to forget a guy like him—that tan mouth, the big wings, the bundled mane... he certainly made an impression. If she wasn't already here with ulterior motives, she would have developed a couple right about there. "Jeez, you alright?" she asked, coming over to the counter and propping her hooves up on it. She was going to assume he was on the level, but watch him close for any signs otherwise. Best to catch them with honey than vinegar. "That sounded like a doozy... If you're doing something important, I can come back, but..." She sighed, propping her chin on her hoof. The details came back quickly to her mind, and she tried to translate the nitty-gritty of the artifact in a way that would seem to come naturally from a mare in her position. "I need to find a dolly. But not just any dolly. It's for my little sister's birthday, and she's really picky... mom and dad kinda spoiled her, you know? Anyway, she wants a stuffed bunny. One she can dress up, though it'd be nice if it had an outfit already made and an accessory or two. She likes the colors grey and green..." She rubbed her forehead, like trying to get rid of a headache. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've looked all over town, and I'm really at my wit's end... but if you have something that she'd like here..." Her preamble taken care of, she reached back into her bag and took out a little sack of bits. 'Little' was a misnomer; the bag wasn't large, but it was packed thick and heavy with coins, and it hit the countertop with a rather impressive clunk. That'd buy more than just a fancy set of curtains.

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He shrugged it off, rubbing where he winged his head, feeling a little lump form. She seemed nice enough. "It's alright I had worse... I was just looking for some batteries. My radio went dead, and I forgot to order more... again. It gets pretty lonely in here when their is no sound." He gestured to the shelf right next to the counter, the radio turned upside down with the back compartment open. He sat behind his counter, moving the radio out of the way, looking into her eyes as she talked. "I've got some of stuffed animals on the opposite wall, but I don't have any bunnies... not on the shelf at least." He flapped his wings, flying overhead, the shop having a surprisingly high ceiling, kicking up dust unintentionally as he did so. "Out here I've got... Sir Bearington Esq., both the regular one and Princess Party Bearington. Umm..." He floated up to a higher shelf, grabbing a 15 ft long coil of something, "This guy here is Sleepytime Slithers, he comes with a night cap and pajamas... Wait... no..." he floated back over to his counter looking at a little cork board on the wall. "Sorry, Slithers was recalled for safety reasons... oh dear, I knew I for got something..." He wondered what else he would have, "I mainly have a surplus of things like that... yeah... b-but I can check in the back if Bearington isn't up your alley!" He nodded, noting the massive sack of bits on his counter, "I aim to please!"

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She gave him a funny look. It was already pretty clear this place didn't get much business, but... sheesh. That bad? Maybe he could stand to put out a little outreach budget instead of a battery order. But that wasn't any of her business... yet, anyway. (Making sure the economy thrived was just as important to Equestria as neutralizing a strange artifact.) "Hrm..." Bon Bon tried to look considering of Sir Bearington Esq. and his ... understandably dangerous serpent pal. She had no intention of purchasing either of these... well, okay, no intention of purchasing Slithers. She might get Sir Bearington Esq. for the "Fun for Foals" charity next month. But these were not, as the saying went, the buns she was looking for. "I'm sorry, sir," she said, smiling apologetically. "They're very nice, but... not what I need. It definitely has to be a rabbit. She's a little, heh, obsessed. You know how kids can be, yeah?" She stepped around the counter, peeking around him to try and see into that back. "Would you like my help looking?" It likely wouldn't be too hard to find it... or them, depending on whether the Builder Bunny had somehow been awakened. And how long. Besides, the Builder Bunny still needed other fabric items or plush toys to Frankenstein together, so if it was really locked away here somewhere, even in the worst case scenario it surely couldn't have made too many magically-animated plushie monsters.

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He was bummed that he didn’t have something she that fit the bill in the main room. Sir Bearington was a top seller in other places, but he’s only ever sold two of them since the entered the shop. “So no bear then… I see…” He shuffled to the back door, hesitating to open it, because he knew exactly what she was looking for. “I-I suppose if you want to help… b-but I don’t think you’re sister would like the one I have in back…” He did have what she was looking for… green and grey… but it was too creepy to give to a foal. It made noises without being messed with, moved in the box. It just wasn’t right, so he left it shut in a box with all the other stuff that was meant for the store. He couldn’t get rid of it, and he didn’t remember even ordering the monstrosity. He held the door open for the mare, revealing a living space, piled high with boxes surrounding the center table. “It’s somewhere in this box pile… I don’t really like the thing… so I never put it out in the shop...” He walked over to his counter, reaching into a drawer pulling out a box cutter so they could get through the tape. “But if you know that it’s what your sister wants… then I guess you can have it.” He began cutting into boxes and looking into them, then sliding them to Bon Bon. “If you see something that catches your eyes, tell me, otherwise feel free to look through any of the already opened boxes. I think the box says Patchwork Adam, but I haven't looked at it in a while.” He kept cutting open boxes like a machine, as if he was what he was meant to do with his life.

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She watched him for a minute while he waffled about showing her the bunny, stepping around the counter. If she wasn't mistaken... he looked nervous. That could mean a lot of things, and not many of them good. He hadn't already had to deal with the thing's behavior, had he? Did he know what he had in his hooves after all? She peeked in the first box he slid over and rustled through the junk. Not in this one. She chuckled a little, despite the little nugget of dread congealing in her stomach. "I'm sorry for all this trouble. I wouldn't be bugging you like this if it wasn't important... what is it that makes you say she wouldn't like it, though?" she asked. While she could, it was good to keep gathering information about the situation. Not that she expected it to go bad, but... just in case. It wasn't in the next box, either, though there was a nice silver pocketwatch... she set that aside. Just in case this went better than expected. The shop was pretty full of neat stuff, if badly neglected. ...Quite a long time neglected, in fact. A deeply worrying little thought came to her mind. "...Patchwork... wait, you don't have this bunny in a box of other toys, do you?"

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He continued cutting into each box, passing them aside, brushing his mane out of the way periodically. As the pile became smaller, the boxes became dustier, “The thing makes noises… like… like…” He stammered his speech, his eyes half-lidded as if he was about to pass out, “Ahhh… uhhhh… ACHOO!” he sneezed from the dust that had being kicked up, holding his foreleg up to his muzzle, “Sorry…” he sat the box cutter to the side, shuffling into his small bathroom, the sound of the stallion clearing his nose into toilet tissue echoing out. “I’m really sorry ‘bout that.” He walked back out sniffling. “It makes there really faint noises, squeaks and whimpers… but it has no cord to pull. It’s creepy… not the noises a foals toy should make.” The thought of the thing made him shutter, “I’m pretty sure the thing isn’t stored with anything else… but why would that matter?” He kept slicing through boxes until the pile was exhausted, three boxes left. “Well… if you haven’t found it, it’s in one of these boxes…” he walked over, the things caked in years of dust, and sliced through the tape of the first box, “This one is just…” he reached into the pink Styrofoam peanuts, pulling out very ornate white plates, with floral borders and textured edges with matching cups and saucers. “Huh, this is china from my parents wedding. This stuff is ancient. Gotta remember this is here, put it to use.” He dug through it a little more. “And… a hole in the side of it?” The peanuts had begun spilling out of the side as it was moved from the other boxes. “What did you find?”

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That was bizarre. Her intel hadn't indicated anything about the bunny making noises. Had it poached a speaker of some sort from another toy over the years? Or... worse, maybe it was developing little speech patterns. "Bless you! Sorry... didn't mean to kick up so much, here..." she said, watching him walk off to the restroom. Once he was out of view, Bon Bon took her opportunity. She reached into her hair and took out a little black clip, then pulled a tab out and stuck it to the underside of his counter. There was no ill-will for the guy, but there had to be a safety precaution for the future. When he came back, she was already ankle-deep in the next box, sorting through some kind of cloth she was guessing were old dresses, or maybe curtains. Her ears were pricked up, now, just in the off-chance she might hear any noises like his description. It sounded more like there'd been some sort of rat living inside it. "Well... hey, maybe that's part of the charm, right? Like it's a real bunny! I bet she'd love that~" She could imagine no child on earth who would love that. She slid the next box over and ignored his question, opening the top up. "Ooh, wow. Those are nice, too! You should definitely keep a hold of that~" She dug through some of the peanuts, and found...? ...Nothing? She rummaged around some more. Nothing. There were fewer peanuts in the box; she looked to the side and saw there was a hole in that one, too. She looked to the third box with a vague dread forming in her stomach. She didn't hear any squeaks, but there was a faint rustle of movement... and a couple peanuts slipped from the hole. "Mister Valour," she said, her voice even, "I need you to please calmly set the china somewhere safe and stand behind me."

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“That thing didn’t sound like a real bunny…” He shuttered again, “but… to each their own, you know. If she likes it, then she likes it.” He kicked some of the floor peanuts around, trying to pile them up. Damn things get everywhere if you don’t take care of them when they start spilling. “I don’t think I can make use of all of them, but they’ll be nice for company.” He slid the dishes aside. “I must have a rodent problem that I wasn’t aware of… can’t think of anything else that would just chew into boxes.” He stuck his head in a box and looked through the hole, it looking more like it had been ripped through instead of chewed through. “Hmmm… gonna have to get some mouse traps.” His eyes darted around the room to look for any other sign of a possible rodent problem. And then he heard the rustling too. “That… that sounds like the box…” He slowly weaseled his way behind her, pushing the box of dishes with him. “Why do I need to be back here?” He put his hooves on her back and looked around from her side, as the box bounce once or twice. “… oh, maybe that’s why...” He cowered behind Bon Bon.

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Her eyes narrowed, positioning herself between Reed and the box. Thank goodness he was spooked sensibly--just because she was a bit small, sometimes stallions could try and go all chivalrous, turn a little problem into a big one... that was most of why she wanted him back there. The other was, of course, that whatever was in there could conceivably be armed. But she didn't want to freak him out. "You just do, Mister Valour," she said. The box shifted again, and a little beady eye peered out the hole... literally, an eye made of a bead set into a fuzzy white head with a little triangle ear. But as the face emerged and it began to crawl through, they could see the other half of its head was sewn up with brown felt and a mismatched button eye, its legs and body all patched and swapped around, like some weird, animated frankenplushie. It cocked its weird little head curiously at them... And then a grey little blur burst out of the box and dashed across the counter! Bon Bon shoved Reed back and stumbled out of the way--but as soon as she looked again, the bunny was gone. ...And so was Reed's boxcutter. She stepped slowly around, nudging him along with her, casting her eyes around for anything in reach. "Shoot. I wanted to avoid this... I'm sorry, Mister Valour, I think..." She watched as the frankenplushie tried to come after them, but walked straight off the edge of the counter. Another patchy paw reached out from the box's hole. "I think it got your Charity Bearity."