I'm sick of myself {Fleetfoot}

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"Oh, man, I can completely imagine!" Fleetfoot replied, rolling her eyes in an exasperated way. "She probably came in out of nowhere, unexpectedly, just to bug the crap out of you. And you try to give pegasai a hint like that to buzz off and they just. don't. pick. up. on. it. It's like, get a clue already!" Fleetfoot played the oblivious pegasus role to a T, except that now and then she would give Dash a mischievous smile.

Then Fleetfoot gave a theatrical sigh "Whatever in the wide, wide, wiiiiiiide world of Equestria did you do to rid yourself of this completely clueless, annoying, aggravating, self-aggrandizing, amazing, incredible, awesome, and very modest, pegasus?"

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Rainbow Dash began laughing, playfully shoving Fleetfoot's arm. "I might've been able to tell you, if, she had ever left. She has this white mane, and blueish green fur. I'm sure she's around here somewhere, putting in her two cents... But where?"[/b] Dash began dramatically throwing her head around, looking in every place, but where Fleetfoot was standing.

She looked back, shrugging, with a fake frantic expression on her face. "I wonder where she ran off to! I'm just so worried!"

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Fleetfoot laughed at Dash's antics and the teasing of her own ego. "I wouldn't worry," She jokingly reassured Dash. "I'm sure you haven't lost her that easily. Annoying mares like that have a way of showing up, again and again."

They walked in quiet a little while. Fleetfoot didn't want to make the mood too serious, but she had something she wanted to say. "Ah, look... Dash... It's okay if I call you Dash, right? I wanna tell you something, but its a little awkward. So bear with me, this isn't going to be very cool." Fleetfoot took a deep breath. "You went looking for something, and you didn't find it. I don't know what it was you wanted to find. But I do know what its like when it feels like something's missing. Like a big old empty hole. " the wonderbolt hesitated, then went on.

"When I feel like that... I look for something to do to help someone else. Might be a simple thing, helping Captain file papers. Might be something big, like teaching a foal to fly. Not... not for my own glory, exactly..." Fleetfoot actually stopped and ruffled the wispy powder puff she was pleased to call a mane. "Not... to make myself look cool... but because it helps. It doesn't fill the hole, its not that missing something... but it helps me live with it. Maybe you can make this trick work for you too." Fleetfoot laughed, but it was more a shy, embarrassed sound than an expression of amusement. "Okay, I'm done being uncool."

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Rainbow remained silent as Fleetfoot started to go back to the topic of her emptiness. Fleet was right. As she had been the entire time. She just needed to distract herself, or do something that makes her feel better. Not running away. "Yeah... Maybe it can.. And, no, you're not being uncool. Fleetfoot doesn't have an uncool bone in her body."

Dash was taking all of this to heart, but she was eager to simply enjoy herself, which wasn't something she had been doing lately. "But, this pegasus that's been following me around does. Big ol' bone. Just a bad pony to be around. You know... terrible."

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Fleetfoot saw that her point was taken. It was not her intention to make Dash uncomfortable, or send her on a guilt trip; really, when Fleet had found her, Dash had been doing both those things perfectly fine on her own! She might as well have left her alone if that had been her wish. It was just that the Wonderbolt realized the problem which had sent Dash on her quest had not been solved. She wanted Dash to find a way to cope.

But, Fleet realized she had probably done about as much as a single pony could in that way. Now, serious stuff aside, they could focus on the fun things! "Yep! Terrible ponies like that- you can't outrun them." Fleetfoot laughed. "Well, maybe I could, but I don't know about you..." Fleet looked Dash in the eye, a playful glint of challenge sparkling there. "Tell me, are you as fast on your feet as you are on the wing?"

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Was Fleetfoot challenging her to a race? Was, the, Fleetfoot, challenging her to a race?! Even if it was on the ground... Oh man, nopony back home would ever believe this... "I'm a bit light on my hooves. Nothing, too, special." She smirked, hopping a bit back and forth on her hooves.

Rainbow Dash hadn't really been exercising as of late. She hadn't even been stretching. So, she wasn't in peak physical form. But, the opportunity to race Fleetfoot?! She'd run five marathons for that chance! "So, we talking a challenge? I'm not my best, but, that hasn't stopped me before." That old familiar cocky smile showed on her face.

It felt good to have that back.

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Fleetfoot's grin widened, and instead of answering directly, she turned her head and tightened the cinch on her saddlebags, and gave each leg a stretch. She would race, and she would give Dash a real run for her money, but she'd prefer it if she didn't spill her precious pears all over the road behind her. Fleet was not in training for a footrace at the moment, she usually only gave herself some training in late summer so as to be ready for fall-leaf running. But she was light and lean, and faster at her worst than many ponies at their best.

"There's a stream up ahead, maybe a mile and a half, got a bridge and everything." Fleet said, pulling her goggles down over her eyes. "First one across that stream, no wings allowed, wins. You game? You can count us off." And if Dash truly was ready, Fleet would take up a runner's stance, just as though this were a completely official race!

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"Heh... Alright... 5." Rainbow Dash closed her eyes, relaxing her body. She hadn't raced in awhile. "4." Dash stretched herself out, making sure she was okay. She hadn't done a lot in awhile. "3."

Suddenly, her body seemed to get into a groove, immediately falling into position like an old habit. Her breathing remained slow, and focused. "2." Rainbow Dash let go. She did. She forgot everything she had been looking for. She tossed aside everything that had been bothering her. All she focused on was this. The race. The speed of her hooves. The drum of her heartbeat. "1." She didn't need to be sad. She didn't need something inside of her telling her it needed more. Dash needed speed. She needed adrenaline. And no stupid missing thing was gonna stop her from getting it! "Zero."

And she took off.

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Zero.

Fleetfoot felt the word in her body, rather than in her ears. It was the spring that released tense, ready muscles, that threw her forward into the wind, that cut all ties between land and body. She wasn't flying, no, not with wings, but her feet scarcely seemed to touch the ground. Her world seemed to narrow down to three senses- the sight of the road again, the feeling of Rainbow Dash beside her, and the sound of a single pair of hooves.

Whether by chance or design, they were still completely synchronized.

The Wonderbolt normally waited until the halfway point to really put on some speed, in most races. She kept the pressure on her opponents, making them use up anything they might be saving for a final sprint, then passed and made them eat dust the rest of the way. It was good policy and made for an exciting race. But she didn't want to be logical now. She didn't care who was watching. She wanted to finish this race with rubbery legs and no breath and not a drop of energy remaining.

And she wanted Dash to be just as exhausted! No holds barred! Fleetfoot increased her pace and fought to gain a couple of inches. If the other mare was holding anything back, she'd better start using it!

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Zero.

That word was still echoing in her ears. She couldn't even remember when exactly her legs had started pumping. She wasn't focused on that. No. Her thoughts were very straight forwards. Run. Run. Run. Run. Faster. Faster. Faster. Give it your all!

Rainbow Dash had built up so much emotion during this trip. She had broken herself. She was what was wrong! She was in her own way! And she was so pissed at herself! She had put herself through all of that, for nothing! You are not missing anything! You are Rainbow Dash! Get your act together, and win this race!

She had no idea how, but her legs began pumping faster. That was all she was. The motion of getting her legs to go faster. She had to go faster! Faster, Rainbow Dash! Get your flank up, and run!

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Fleetfoot had gained her inches, but Dash took them back, one by one, until they were neck and neck again. The road curved uphill sharply on them, slowing both their paces whether they liked it or not, a thing which never happened on the wing. Fleetfoot knew that when they reached the top, they would be able to see the bridge and they would be at the halfway point.

The Wonderbolt searched her body mentally, looking for any hidden or overlooked pocket of energy she might find some way to tap into. Oh, she'd thrown races before- for some of the Wonderbolt sponsors, for foals, for ponies who needed to be able to say to their disbelieving friends- 'oh yes, I've raced Fleetfoot before... she's not so fast.' It had given her such a distaste that she didn't often accept a challenge when it was offered. And when she had made the challenge to Dash, she had perhaps entertained thoughts of holding back just enough to let her win.

But Dash had shown such instant spirit, such an eagerness to race, despite her weariness, despite not having trained, despite all her problems, that Fleetfoot had realized it would be an insult to give less than her very best, even if it meant winning.

But she was not so sure now that it would!

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Rainbow strained herself, forcing her body up the sharp incline. Alright, Rainbow, you've got this. You can do this! Fleetfoot's right along with you. You just have to make sure you get up this hill without wasting all your energy! Turn it down, and save that energy for when you get to the top!

Dash followed her own advice, taking herself back a bit, away from the "full speed ahead" sentiment. She looked over at Fleetfoot, watching as she slowly drifted behind her. Rainbow Dash wanted to keep up, but not waste energy... Hopefully she pulled this off right...

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When Fleet felt Dash slow her pace even more on the upward climb, she understood. Her competitor was conserving for the downward sprint. It was a smart move, maybe even the right move. You could never really tell until after the race. But Fleetfoot, at least the Fleetfoot that was in uniform, liked to take risks, to live dangerously. To bet every last bit she had on her in one grand, sweeping gesture.

Sometimes she lost.
She often ended up broke.
But she never regretted it.

Fleetfoot felt a second wind hit like a cold storm breaking and she flashed a glance back over her shoulder to give Dash a grin before she began to pick up her pace just a little. If Dash held back now, there was a good chance that Fleet would gain enough of a lead to keep it. Already she could feel the road under her hooves begin to ease and then to level out. Soon it would slope downward and then the race would really begin!

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When Dash saw that grin flash over Fleetfoot's shoulder, she knew she had made a mistake. She sped up a bit, enough to not be left in the dust, but not too much. She knew the way Fleetfoot flew, because Rainbow Dash obsessed over the Wonderbolts. If she flew like she raced on hoof, then Dash might be able to win if she did this right.

She came to the top, and immediately threw herself onto the incline. No holding back, now! Rainbow remembered, back when she ran in the Running of the Leaves, every strategy for speed that she took the time to memorize. Dash brought her body in close, but let her legs have enough room for full stride. The trick, was not to waste your energy pumping as fast as you can, but to let your legs reach out the most amount of distance in each stride. It let you keep your energy going, without burning yourself out.

Which was exactly what she was doing. Dash needed to win. She needed to win! She was done with moping, done with missing, done with this all! She was Rainbow Dash! And nothing would get in her way!

Before she knew it, she was at the bottom of the incline, and the final stretch awaited her. The bridge was easily seen in the distance. Her goal was near. This was where she needed her old self the most. This was it.

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Fleet was ahead and looking ahead. So she couldn't exactly see Dash. But the instant they hit the crown of the hill, she felt Dash lengthen her stride, could sense the focus and determination of her racing rival. Fleet was also giving it everything she had, but Dash relentlessly closed the gap again, coming even with her shoulder by the time they reached the bottom of the hill again. Now it was a straight and even stretch to the bridge.

Both pegasai were flat out, as fast as they could manage, and with the momentum of the hill carrying them along now, faster than ever! Fleetfoot thought about racing. Yes, it was important to be in the right kind of shape. You should also eat properly and it helped if you knew the tricks to use. But for all that, the most important factor was the will. The victory seemed most often to go to the one who wanted it more.

And that was why, as Rainbow Dash pulled even alongside her, neck and neck, Fleetfoot knew already that she was going to lose this one. Oh, she wanted to win. She even wanted it badly. But she could tell now, one racer to another, that Dash just wanted it more. Only yards to go, now. As both ponies set foot on the bridge, Rainbow's nose inched ahead of her own. And by the time they touched the road on the other side, Fleet was even with her neck. A photo finish. But they both knew Dash had won.

The wonderbolt slowed to a stop, panting hard. She had no breath to say anything, yet. But she didn't need to. Her smile, half gleeful, half wistful, said more clearly than words 'You got me... this time.'